im not smokin pot im smokin hot
omg i just realized why mario and luigi are red and green
how i didn’t see that i’m so stupid
once i accidentally called 999 and my brother was shouting “im gonna kill you” at his video game in the background and to cut a long story short 20 minutes later 2 police officers showed up at my house to check out a potential murder and this is why i hate my life
I think it’s 911…
i think i live in england…
dont ask me for relationship advice because i will always just tell you to break up w/ them and throw their shit in a dumpster because i do not understand the concept of allowing anyone to treat you poorly this is a zero tolerance zone
we’re halfway thru april, u know what tht means?
HOW DOES THIS MAKE ME LAUGH EVERY FUCKING YEAR!?
Things I shout while playing any video game ever:
- YOU FUCKING HOE
- YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED YOU
- I FUCKING (SCREAMS)
- FUCKING BALLS
- OH WHAT THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK
- YOU CAN SUCK MY SWEATY FUCKING BALLS
- I HATE THIS GAME
- FUCK ME
- FUCK YOU
- WHY AM I FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME
- I’m so fucKING DONE
- WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
- [PTERODACTYL SCREECH]
have you ever taken your dog to a jumping competition
Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension
- "Make me",
- "oh really",
- "is that so"
"What’s in it for me?"
"Can you feel it now mr krabs?"
"Do u wanna build a snowman?"